Waiting in suspense
Habit is a funny thing. It is quite difficult to develop and maintain. Once formed, however, it becomes pretty hard to break.
I have been feeling pretty lonely and unsettled the past couple of days, because I haven’t been chatting with my partner. Prior to this, I didn’t quite have regular daily conversations with anyone for many years already, so it was uncomfortable that I could feel this out of sorts.
The worst part was not knowing if something happened to him, or if he was just busy or deeply occupied with a project, or perhaps he got bored of talking to me and decided to spend his time elsewhere.
Maybe my recent mood hasn’t been positive, so I tend to think of the worst. Waiting in suspense is something I don’t take pleasure in, as I am someone who prefers to have closure. No matter what, it is better to know for sure than to remain guessing.
At the back of our minds, maybe we do realise how tenuous our links to each other were. If either of us chooses to cease contact, that is the end. Both of us dislike conflict and arguments, so it won’t be a drawn out or messy affair.
In any case, I hope things are ok and that I am just being overly worried about nothing. In the meantime, I will continue counting down the days to the end of my agony.