Goodbyes are always difficult. Especially to objects and living things that we have grown so used to and taken for granted over time.
One of my pet fishes died today. It had been looking unwell for a while, and I knew that my neglect in changing their water over time was probably partly (if not mainly) the cause. I felt guilty, but I knew that what had been done cannot be reversed. This was a price I had to pay for being overly focused on work.
While I am sad about the loss, I prefer to look back fondly on the good times we shared. I forgot how long I’ve had them, but it has probably been a few years. I’ve had them since pre-Covid days, so I would estimate they had been part of my life for over 3 years now?
Call me crazy, but I talk to my fishes as animatedly as I would to a friend. I dare say I am more expressive with them than people I see every day 😊 They all have names…although I’ve given them strange names related to ghosts and monsters, haha.
Each of them have their personalities and are adorable in their own ways. They have cheered me up when I was sad or upset. Looking at them swimming eagerly towards me, begging to be fed always tickles me so much. They don’t just swim away after having their fill either, as they would hang around looking at me as if to say thanks. Sometimes, even when I don’t feed them, they would flock around as I approach their tank, as if sending their greetings.
They had grown over the years and some of the bigger ones were moved to another tank outside, so I no longer see all of them daily. From now on, the tank will seem even more empty.
This is yet another reminder to me that I should not neglect things and people I care about, no matter how crazy life becomes.
Thank you for the memories, White Weirdo. I’ll miss you.