Making friends

Making friends

Are you the type who befriends others easily? I believe I am the type who takes a long time to get to know, and I would hesitate to call someone a good friend unless I have really gotten to know them well over time.

It is just the way I am, and I am not the type who will share everything there is to know about me with new people I meet.

Just this morning I was reflecting on the types of people that I dated before, and I realised that they were probably extroverts. My ex especially, was my polar opposite, and thinking back maybe that was the appeal that brought us together but eventually drove us apart as we really didn’t have much in common. Things that he took great pleasure in were activities I usually avoided, so it was amazing that we stayed together for as long as we did.

How do we know if we are compatible with someone? Initial sparks of attraction can’t be sustained in long term relationships, and there needs to be something that holds people together when the going gets tough.

Even in good friendships, there will be times when you don’t see eye to eye with the other person. As I grow older, I find myself disliking conflicts and having to explain myself. I don’t know if it is a good or bad thing, but my energy and tolerance for engaging in open conflicts is getting lower. I also dislike trying to change people, because I think it is too much effort and I have no desire to do so.

I don’t know if my way of thinking is correct, but perhaps there needs to be enough common ground and shared experiences for each party to want to make a compromise when disagreements crop up. Both parties also have to value the relationship and try to make things work.

Modern technology has made it more convenient and easy to get to know new people all over the world. Yet, sometimes I find myself feeling a bit nostalgic for the times where it is not so convenient to chat with or contact someone, and more effort needs to be put in to sustain a friendship.

I wonder how many people will agree with that?

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