Toxic thoughts

Toxic thoughts

There is someone within my immediate family who has a tendency to get drawn into her own narrative in her own mind, and interpret things in the outside world with her own biased viewpoint.

She is a very hardworking and diligent person, and tidy by nature. However, she is inclined towards a negative mindset and has an amazing(?) ability to focus on what is lacking in everything first.

Living with a person like that can be tiring, as her negative attitude permeates everything. Even a simple question like ‘What should we have for dinner?’ can trigger a host of negative comments about the problems of life, what is bad about various food, the cost of living, etc.

This type of attitude makes it difficult to talk to her about anything at all. Even when I try to do something nice like bring her out for a meal, or offer to get her something she might like, can be met with fierce resistance or personal criticism. I don’t know how or why she seems to enjoy having such negative ruminations, but I think it is part of her personality and is probably hard to change.

I like to think that what you focus on in your mind expands. If you think negative thoughts, then it will manifest in your actions and behavior, which will in turn attract results that correspond with what you envisioned. Although I try to focus on positive ideas in my mind, being around a person like that throws a dampener on trying anything new, as all the possible scenarios of what may go wrong will immediately pour out from her mouth.

Sometimes, the negative mood is especially strong and palpable like a thunderous cloud, so I try to avoid hanging around to talk if I can. But that doesn’t stop her from embarking on a rapid-fire series of complaints or scoldings to anyone within earshot. I suspect maybe a lot of such thoughts have been swirling in her mind already, and just happened to find verbal expression by the time she starts vocalising it (lol).  

I don’t know if there is a way to neutralise such negative thinking. Maybe it is impossible. However, in spite of all her personality flaws, I do treasure her and want to do my best to fulfil her needs if I am able to. I just can’t help but think that maybe her life will be happier and easier if she stops thinking so negatively, and try to see the good things in her life instead of focusing on what’s missing.  

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